Updates

Salam Abbu

How are you today? Are you still busy or missing me a bit? I think you are still missing Sari…She’s seeing you and no one else seems to have seen you yet. I prayed yesterday to see you but I didn’t. Today once again I woke up with your thoughts. I am glad I wasn’t there when you were leaving us. Otherwise I would have that picture in my mind but I carry the picture of you sitting on your green lazy boy, typing away on your laptop while I sneak up and kiss your well groomed head.

You did love your small comb and mirror that stayed in your front pocket! What a well groomed man you were. Although we kind of made fun of you that you were so conscious about your appearance. I love the sheepish grin you’d get when we said that. Do you remember when you used some hair dye and your lovely greys turned blue? That was a riot! You probably stopped coloring your hair after that 🙂

You know, I think about you and enjoy my thoughts and I don’t know why all of a sudden something hits me and I break down. I am your practical daughter. Not the kind that gets emotional. You always relied on me calling me your practical son. Although I took offense to that by the way – why can’t daughters be reliable and practical? Why call them a son? But really Abbu, I loved that you could rely on me. I am so useless really. I don’t even know why you thought I could do anything.

I checked up on Ammi today. She was at the doctor’s and finally got a strong inhaler for that cough. She didn’t cough while speaking and you’d be happy to know that. Inshallah I am going to see her soon. Did i tell you? I am finally going there and I have no idea what I will do when I enter and see the empty green chair. I hope I can keep it together. I love you my lovely father. You are and were and will always be the best.