Salam Abbu
Now that I am visiting you amidst the angelic pigeons I am not sure what else to tell you here. But today Sara shared a video – Thank God I didn’t open it. Just the first image of your hand moments before your departure was enough to send me into an abyss of emotions. Why did people make videos of you? They are asking me if I want to see videos of you being lowered into your new home..under the dirt. under the earth..in the darkness but into the light for you inshallah.
No I dont want to see! Why? Why would anyone want to see that?
Anyway, I am here for another week. Not sure what will happen after. Will I feel further away from you? Will I want to run back? Some people are very good with identifying with their emotions. I am just lost. I wonder why?
I got all my things sorted out. The vaccine – its upload to the app that tracks your movements – I see you smirking – I know you are of my mindset..You just like playing the devil’s advocate dont you? 😀
Anyway, Emaad has covid. Girls are freaking out. I don’t know why. Its the media…they’ve made everyone into something we shouldn’t be: fearing a stupid virus. What happened to believing in Qadr: Destiny..? Part of our faith yet it seems people just don’t have it anymore.
Abbu, this is one discussion i want to have with you. Want to see what you think. I heard your voice today. Audio days before you left. Another massive attack of emotions. Seem to be getting used to these bursts. Here I was thinking I was fine..over the sadness, ready to move on..what a brave girl I am..patting my back. But then I couldn’t even hit ‘play’ on the video with your hand, with tubes sticking out..just moments before.
The Saudi Expat 