If I think back to my life, I have had very set opinions about things. Most of my life I have seen things as black and white. It’s easy to live life with a clear vision and not have to decipher the grays. There are many grays after all and its too much work figuring them out, analyzing them and getting into philosophical debates.
When I was young I did argue, as hot blooded youth do, with people who had different opinions than myself. I grew older, lived with challenges, overcame some and walked away from others – realizing that one doesn’t need to change the opinions of others. It’s not up to us to do so and we can be content in our own opinions.
The measuring stick of right and wrong was always Islam but did I know enough about Islam to use that so confidently? With each passing year, with each passing blow and the lessons it taught I realized how lucky I am to get up from the bruises and lessons learnt and analyze things based on the lessons I am supposed to learn from them. With each passing season, I attained more knowledge and more light bulbs lit in the mind. The blacks and whites separated and some grays started to emerge.
When we go to grade school, we open our colorful science book. It teaches about plants and animals, the cells and nucleus. Each passing year, the same colorful book arrives with the same topics yet a bit more dense for the growing mind. The plants and pollination are more descriptive, the paragraphs longer and we grasp it more. I always would marvel at the way these books repeat the same topics year after year yet we keep getting more knowledge with each passing grade.
Islam – contrary to what has been taught by others, is a conversation with God – especially the Quran. The more you read the more you grasp it and as you grow older and wiser, the conversation takes on new meaning. You can read the entire text and start all over again and each time its as if you have learnt something new. Even if you have been going over it for decades.
Opinions are moulded. Empathy grows – if you are lucky – and the neurons start to make crackling noises as they keep lighting up and filling the heart with light.
I am not where I want to be and I am not even sure I will ever get there, but now when I have opinions, I step back and think from the perspective of the opposing opinions and question my own. I don’t let myself stay in confusion because I have to analyze, learn and then be content with what my heart truly believes, even if its not exactly what my family or friends believe. They are they and I am me, and we can coexist without arguing and having different opinions.
The Saudi Expat 