I just scrolled through a trailer for a movie: ‘What’s Love Got to Do with it” by no other than Imran Khan’s ex-wife Jemima. The trailer showed a scene from a ‘mehndi’ party before the wedding. The bride and groom were sitting together surrounded by friends and family. Family of the girl looked conservative, especially the grandmother and the friends were wearing revealing clothes – like you would see in Indian movies. As the grandmother objects to the way they are dressed, they exaggerate her reaction to: ‘I am not staying in this shameless environment’, and the bride tells the groom, ‘ let the dinosaur go’.
This is just one of many movies, shows and books that I have come across where the status quo, cultural norms, religious upbringing is challenged. One would say, ‘well, the grandmother is being irrational! its not her business what anyone wears’, but here is what the problem is:
- Her reaction stems from religious requirements of the type of gatherings we should be part of and not partake in. Hence setting boundaries is important. When visiting Buckingham palace to visit the monarch, one is told how to dress, how to bow, how to conduct everything. We don’t question it. When going for an interview we know how to dress, even if we wouldn’t be caught dead in a suit and tie type of outfit otherwise. Why is God’s word then taken so lightly?
- The other reaction shows how the bride is calling her grandmother a dinosaur. Respect for the elder, something most non-western societies have always upheld, is being challenged : What do our elders know? Leave them behind. Let them huff and puff and leave. They are not important. This attitude is dangerous. We think, our own little young in-experienced mind is very intelligent and wisdom, experience and knowledge of elders is unimportant. Forgetting that one day we will be one of those elders and will be shunned in the corner as well. When we are young we are under the illusion our time won’t come.
If we look at how society has changed, we like to called it ‘progression’, we can see the stark changes in values from any given religious text. Satan knows us. If he told our grandparents to take off their covered clothing and wear even sleeveless outfits, even the men would have shunned it. Satan is in no hurry. He will give a small droplet in your life until you finally find it normal and harmful. Just a slight change that makes you feel, ‘what’s the harm in this?’. No apparent harm in a little music. A few late nights laughing with friends of both genders. No harm in a few jokes at the expense of someone. Once in a while some wild fun with friends. What’s the harm in that little fun in context of all the good I do?
Several years later the drop has become a sip, then a few more and then a glass full of harm. Harm to the soul. Harm to a generation. Harm to the way we practice our faith and values.
I remember the time when I saw Harry Potter released, then Hana Montana was the popular show most kids watched. I kept my children away from it but societal pressures of : everyone in their school is talking about it, everyone watches it, its the future how much will you protect them etc etc, eventually led to my weakness. Not because I agreed with anyone. I knew the dangers of wanting ‘more’ than just Hana Montana. You see one ‘harmless’ thing, then want the next one and the next until you are immersed in your glass of droplets. The fault was mine. I did not have the discipline to give them all that was required to homeschool them and keep them in a community of like-minded people. I did not have the means to move to a village or town where it was so much easier to raise kids without the pressures of the world. The fault lies with the adults who do not create the right environment for their next generation.
Our senses given by God will testify on the day of judgement about what we heard, saw, said, did. Yes, they will talk as it says in the Quran by Allah.
So knowing our enemy, his tactics and how he is adamant to get us to do haram (sin), is very important. Mindfulness in what we ‘see’, ‘hear’, ‘say’, ‘do’ starts with practicing and learning about our faith, then going on to desiring excellence in the practice and only caring about yourself and your relationship with God. Yes, you read that right. Yourself. Because if you act in excellence with the way Allah wants you to act, and be, and do, then you will naturally care for your fellow human being and act with excellence with everything and everyone.
Be aware of the drops Satan drops in our mind and in our lives. Keep up the dhikr, keep making dua and keep asking for forgiveness. Reading about historical figures, good and bad, both gives us a perspective on how to be and how not to be.
Here is something I am leaving the reader with:
Quran: 4:97-98
When the angels seize the souls of those who have wronged themselves—scolding them, “What do you think you were doing?” they will reply, “We were oppressed in the land.” The angels will respond, “Was Allah’s earth not spacious enough for you to emigrate?” It is they who will have Hell as their home—what an evil destination!
Except helpless men, women, and children who cannot afford a way out—
The Saudi Expat 