LOVE

Love. Is it natural or fostered?

This word that we use loosely. Take for granted. Some families show love by saying they love each other. Some hug often. Some never show it, they just assume that if we are a family we will do anything for each other and that should be enough to satisfy everyone.

But a child growing up in a home without the actual expressions of love being said or shown via expression of some kind, could feel something missing. Depending on the personality of the child, they could be very aware of what is missing and often it would make them sad and they would seek it elsewhere. In material things or in other people. Those children who are unable to identify that the missing element is a hug or kiss from their parents, end up distracting themselves and becoming sullen – often going undiagnosed that it is indeed lack of affection that is causing unexplained behaviour.

But what about parents who are loving, affectionate yet have children, or a child that is not affectionate? That cringes away from being hugged or loved? Such parents console themselves that of course this child loves them but is like so and so relative who is cold and can’t ‘show’ love. They also suffer but unlike the children who suffer from lack of love from parents, these parents keep making excuses for their children and keep praying for them.

In the world of movies, love is something that happens instantly. We grow up thinking that this love is everlasting and we need to seek it. It seems beautiful and promises happiness. The disillusionment of a life so wonderful and full of this love consumes us and we keep thinking that if we don’t get it exactly like the movies then we just have not been lucky enough. Some of us take what we get and some go out and keep searching. But is that really love? Seeing someone, talking to them a few times and being ‘attracted’ to them – is it fair to call that love? In my experience, the people who live together, put up with each other’s negative traits yet want to stay with them – at the very least we can call that love.

How can we just have this one word : LOVE, for emotions as strong as the ones parents have for their children, where they would die for them, to attractions to the opposite gender that you confuse with everlasting devotion? Why is there no distinction in this word considering the love of a parent for child would never end but the love of a man or woman for the other often does?

Then there is the most satisfying love of all. The love of God. When a person is consumed with this love, so much so that what He wants, even if it’s against what you want, is satisfying to your soul, then you know that is love. He alone loved you when He made you even before you were delivered in this world as you know it. And then if you are lucky enough to discover His love and become consumed in it, all other love becomes meaningless. No doubt the love of parents, love of child and maybe even love of spouse and siblings can cause emotions of pain and happiness but when the love of God is in the heart and the conversations flow between you to Him and Him to you via His teachings, then its easy to tolerate the pain caused by other humans. It becomes easier to realize the wisdom in what transpires in our life, whether we understand it or not.

We don’t develop muscles without lifting heavy weights. We don’t become runners without sweating and tiring ourselves for hours a day. We don’t become successful at anything, until we toil hard and experience sleepless nights.

Hence the tests in life, the people, the circumstances that are written for us are the journey that God has planned for us to prepare us for something big. The caterpillar struggles hard in the cocoon until he flies out like a beautiful butterfly. Let’s be patient and rely on the love Allah has for us, and develop the one we should have for Him – so that our wings can be beautiful and we can easily soar to the heavens to meet Him – glowing and pure. Ameen.