My last stop Abbu, before I left for the airport, was to visit you. I don’t know how I left. While you were in front of me, it was not as hard but now that I didn’t get to see you the entire trip, it was just not something I could bear. Leaving you was dreadful.
Today I wanted to torture myself a bit more. I scrolled through your texts on my phone..Right before dinner too…not the smartest thing I must say. Your words to me were so sweet. Your instructions to edit your books or to convey a message to someone. You were talking to me all over again. Did you read the text I sent you in return today? ‘Abbu, I miss you’….
That’s why I never wanted to go. I never wanted to come back knowing you were gone forever. I just wanted to keep pretending you were there. How is life going to be without you? As I envy you that you are not in this dreadfully artificial world, I also wonder what our fates will be in the next few years – as dictatorship over this virus becomes our life. Lucky you.
Abbu, my wonderful kids at MY Voice have given me the best gift anyone ever has in my entire life..They contributed towards a well for you and also did qurbani on Eid for you. Plus they just planted 2000 trees! Inshallah you will be getting Sadaqa Jaria for that. What lovely kids they are. I am so blessed. You are so blessed – mashallah. I hope the angels tell you this. I know you’d be so happy that I am surrounded by such lovely people.
But today I have been thinking about you all day – holding back the sadness. I can’t believe I have left you behind. I love you Abbu.
The Saudi Expat 